Crying without tears
by Fanny chan
Summary: ::Completed:: ExT Chapter 6-> Abrupt: tumbling into love’s embrace- So thus the story ends... please read it if you haven't and thanks for reading if you did. Tomoyo's realizes her true feelings and the kiss i promised. I can't believe this is finished.
1. Ending of memories, starting anew

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, CLAMP does.  
  
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Fanny chan: I have prolonged this chapter from my original script… is it considered angst?

Tomoyo: *sighs* You are now trying to do a humor/romance/angst fic. Don't influence your thoughts with something dark for the time being after all the encouragement from AA-chan.

Chibi Fanny: That's right.

Fanny chan: *looks from Tomoyo to Chibi fanny* Why are the both of you always agreeing? Are you forming a conspiracy or something?

Tomoyo and Chibi Fanny: *grins innocently*

Fanny chan: *sweatdropped* Anyway, enjoy this light-hearted angst. I think that is a good enough term to describe it. Oh yes. Remember to tell me how the first page of my newly created website looks like. *gushes* Those I only done the first page and still have a lot more to go. I would be grateful if you would just take a look. I make the image and background there. I would like to hear your opinions =^_^= ARIGATOU!!!! R&R! 

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Summary of this story: Haha… I couldn't stand not writing angst… hehe. Must be something in my blood. So here is a short-story ExT fic… *smiles* R&R please. I don't know why… *ponders* But I find angst fic more touching, more beautiful… *turns to readers and smiles* Right?

  
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****

Crying without tears

By Fanny chan

Ending of memories, starting anew

Tomoyo stared out of the window, across the street with soft genial amethysts. In the distance, one could barely make out the faint outlines of a secluded mansion. Keen, sharp and beautiful. These words described Tomoyo perfectly. But what if one were to add another word to describe her? Let's say… the word 'anguished'?

Tomoyo smiled as she walked towards her movie theatre, where she usually viewed her kawaii Sakura-chan. But no, this time was different. Her smile faded as she entered that room she had forbiddened herself to enter.

Her gaze leveled with the rows and shelves of tapes. It was neat, arranged in perfect alphabetical order. Calmly, she walked towards a shelf, eyes overcomed with a dull glow.

Gently, she removed a tape and placed it into the tape recorder. An image appeared. It was of the first time she taped Sakura. There was a beautiful full moon in the background, alone in the starry night sky.

Two flying shapes were evident in that cool night. Who else could it be but our lovely cardcaptor Sakura along with her guardian beast, kero-chan?

Tomoyo's eyes hardened, growing dull and lifeless. In an eeriely slow manner, she ejected the tape and stared at it. Turning it around, she nimbly opened the shell, exposing the most important part, exposed the memories the tape contained of Sakura, her own beloved Sakura-chan.

No… Sakura was not hers any longer. She belonged to Syaoran now and she was happy to be his. Tomoyo felt tears trickle down her cheeks. She pulled and tugged on the film. Then she glared at the remaining tapes.

Glaring was not frequently seen on Tomoyo's perfect face. She was perfect, believed to have no worries and problem. Till now, she still wondered why she encouraged Syaoran to confess his love. Then she shook her head, as if trying to clear all these negative thoughts yet to no avail.

She gritted her teeth, trying all her best to supress her jealousy.

All of a sudden, a knock on the door broke her intense train of thoughts. Tomoyo fell to the ground weeping. Sakura must be having a lovely time with Syaoran in Hong Kong. They should be arranging a marriage soon and she would definitely be the bride's maid, Sakura had promised her that one day long ago, during their usual walk home. That day was long before Syaoran Li entered their lives.

A warm pair of hands grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Tomoyo, are you okay?" Tomoyo gave no answer only to continue weeping softly.

Sonomi stared worriedly at her child. It was like déjà vu all over again.

She was well aware on how much her child loved Sakura. Not just the kind of friendship love. It was something much deeper than that. She knew. She felt that way before towards Kinomoto Nadeshiko, towards her cousin.

Tomoyo suddenly shook her head and turned to her, wiping her eyes.

"Daijoubu Okaa-san. I'm okay," Tomoyo managed a smile as she wiped her eyes, trying to rid them of tears. Sonomi did not believe her. Her eyes suddenly landed on one of her daughter's precious tapes. Its film had been ripped, the tape, destroyed.

Directing her attention back to her daughter, she forced a smile. "Do you want me to help you destroy those tapes?" Tomoyo smile slowly brightened.

"Hontou ne okaa-san? Will you really do that for me? Arigatou gozaimasu…" Tomoyo bowed down, sadly thanking the heavens of saving her the misery of doing it herself.

Sonomi felt tears forming in her own purple-blue eyes. She must really love Sakura-chan. Sonomi collected the tapes, placing them into a large garbage bag.

Just as she was about to leave the room, Tomoyo called out. "Okaa-san, will you burn them?" Sonomi nodded. Gradually, Tomoyo eyes watered. "Arigatou…"

As the last of her memories of Sakura exited from her room, never to be seen again, she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

****

Flashback

Tomoyo smiled as Sakura bounded towards her humming a joyful tune.

Stopping in front of her, Sakura smiled. "Syaoran-kun invited my family to visit Hong Kong for a while. Kero-chan is going too. Do you want to come along Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura clasped Tomoyo's hands in her own. "Onegai?"

Tomoyo shook her head sadly. "Okaa-san is sick. I must assist her with the company. Gomen nasai Sakura-chan."

Pouting cutely, Sakura shook her head. "Iie Tomoyo-chan. You should take care of your okaa-san. I'll miss you though."

"Daijoubu Sakura-chan. Enjoy yourself in Hong Kong with Syaoran!" Tomoyo smile dimmed as she saw the faint blush on Sakura's face. "Promise you will come back soon?" she added as an afterthought.

"Hai! Chigiru (Promise)," Sakura gave her one last smile before turning around and running back into school

Watching her Sakura-chan running away stirred something inside her. "Sakura gave me her word, yet why do I feel she is simply making an empty promise." Sighing, she walked towards her classroom and sat down, all this while watching Sakura.

__

I'm happy as long as the person I love is happy…

Tomoyo froze at the phrase that she had said to Sakura-chan some time ago.

__

I believe that. I'm happy as long as the person I love is happy… but why do I feel as if I am simply deceiving myself?

"Daijoubu Daidouji-san?" Tomoyo stared up into deep azures. "Daijoubu Hiragizawa-kun. Arigatou."

Eriol frowned, the first time she had ever seen he do so. "Then why do you look so sad?"

Tomoyo smiled, shaking her head. "Iie. Okaa-san is sick. I'm simply worried."

"I see."

At that moment, Terada-sensei entered the classroom causing the students to scramble back to their seats.

Tomoyo paid little attention as she thought about her little phrase.

__

I'm happy as long as the person I love is happy…

***Three weeks after Sakura leaving for her vaccation***

The phone rang loudly in the Daidouji residance.

Tomoyo hurriedly picked it up, hoping it was Sakura-chan.

"Moshi moshi. Daidouji desu."

She was right.

"Tomoyo-chan! You won't believe what had happened! Otou-san said that we would be staying here in Hong Kong! He find it a very pleasant country."

"Better than Tomoeda?" Tomoyo asked, eyes watering.

"Iie Tomoyo-chan. Tomoeda will forever have a special place in our hearts. We would just like to stay here for a year and see how it goes. And Tomoyo, Syaoran and I are engaged now!" Sakura squealed gleefully.

Tomoyo staggered back but still manages to hold herself together.

"I'm glad for you," Tomoyo muttered, hiding her anguish perfectly.

"Arigatou Tomoyo-chan…" Tomoyo could practically see Sakura's red face.

"I'll miss you Tomoyo-chan. We will still be in contact ne?"

"H…Hai." Tomoyo forced out, trying to keep her voice from breaking.

"Waiii!!! Ja ne Tomoyo-chan."

"Syaonara… Sakura-chan."

There was a soft click as the other line went dead.

The phone slowly slipped out of her hand landing with a soft thud.

"Sakura-chan…".

A dark stain appeared on her sky blue dress where the crystalized tear had vanished.

***A week after that phonecall***

Tomoyo traced the intricate design of the jewellry box. "Sakura-chan helped me to open this… when the shield card was preventing it so." Her eyes filled up with tears again as her wobbly fingers placed the key in the lock and twisted it.

A soft metallic click signaled the opening of the treasured box.

Pulling over the top, she slipped her hand past the cherry blossoms and came into contact with a silky velvet cloth.

Gripping it with determination, she snapped the box close and headed towards the garden.

The garden was vast with so many places to hide this treasure. Gradually, she pinpointed a location…

She diug desperately at the muddy earth, not caring on how dirty her fingernails had become. Hiding the small object, she covered the hole once more, running back to her mansion, tears streaming down her cheek.

"That was Sakura's first gift to… me…" Tomoyo dashed inside without a second glance.

Suddenly, a tiny flower petal, one from a beautiful cherry blossom tree, landed on the earth before blowing away again.

*******************

Tomoyo raced to her room, throwing herself on the floor.

"Sakura-chan… sakura-chan… NANDE? NANDE SAKURA-CHAN?"

However, admist her crying, she caught sight of a blurry silhouette. It felt as if it was radiating soothing warmth onto her shaking figure. Wiping her eyes with the long, clean sleeve of her dress, she stared into the manor of Eriol Hiragizawa.

****

End of Flashback

Picking herself up from the carpetted floor, she made her way back towards the window, staring back at the secluded manor.

Her hopes for Sakura were lost.

Now, she decides to pine for another.

"Suki desu… Eriol-kun…"

Once again, Tomoyo Daidouji felt a new hope in life. Yet she knew, deep in her heart, that this relationship would be nearly impossible. Eriol Hiragizawa had already taken an interest in a woman, a woman that she calls Kaho-sensei.

But one has to take risk to go ahead in life, don't they? One has to take a daring stab at fate…

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And I need to ask a favor from anyone of you. What is the Japanese word Sakura always mutter when everything goes well. It is pronouced as = Yogata... or something like that. What is the correct Japanese speling? Can someone tell me? Please? I couldn't find it in any of my Japanese-English Dictionaries… help?

Arigatou in advance and JA NE!!!!

P/S: This chapter is just the beginning. Interesting parts in the next chapter. =^_^= Oh yes. And don't ask me about the title. It doesn't suit. I know.

~Completed on: 9th September 2002~


	2. Mistress?

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, CLAMP does.  
  
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Fanny chan: *smiles* Thank you for the lovely reviews… I was so touched. *sniff* I have added a thank you list at the bottom to portray my gratitude… *sniff*

Tomoyo chan: Let's get on to the chapter shall we?

Chibi fanny: YAY!! ExT ALL THE WAY!

Tomoyo: *blushes*

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Summary of this story: Haha… I couldn't stand not writing angst… hehe. Must be something in my blood. So here is a short-story ExT fic… *smiles* R&R please. I don't know why… *ponders* But I find angst fic more touching, more beautiful… *turns to readers and smiles* Right?

  
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**Crying without tears**

By Fanny chan

Mistress?

Three months had past, so had Tomoyo's feelings for Sakura.

Sonomi smiled as she heard her daughter coming down the wooden stairway.

"Ohayo Okaa-san." 

"Ohayo Tomoyo. So did you sleep well?"

"Hai!" Tomoyo sat down for her breakfast.

"So who did you dream of?" Sonomi added a hinting touch to her question.

Tomoyo blushed. "OKAA-SAN!"

"So it _is_ about Eriol-kun?"

Tomoyo desperately tried to hide her embarrassed face as the house erupted with joyous laughter. Slowly Tomoyo joined in the laughter too, her lovely voice bringing the place to live.

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Sonomi chuckled as she got ready for another day of work.

"Eriol-kun must really be a special person to Tomoyo… But will he break her fragile heart just like Sakura did?" Sonomi became worried on this new realization.

"She may be lively again… but I know she is still recuperating from the loss of Sakura-chan… she cannot suffer another heartbreak… she just… can't…"

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Tomoyo turned the final corner and smiled. An ancient manor stood before her, majestic and beautiful.

"Tomoyo-chan!"

Tomoyo turned to the direction of _his_ voice.

"Eriol-kun!"

Eriol was working in his garden, waving at her. Smiling softly, she walked towards where he was busy trimming of a rose bush.

"Kirei (beautiful)," Tomoyo muttered when she reached him, fingering a rose.

"Be careful!" Eriol said.

Tomoyo, startled, drew her hand back only to be pricked by a thorn.

"Itai…" she whimpered softly.

Eriol knelt down beside her and took her hand in his.

"Does it hurt?" Tomoyo shook her head, smiling to cover up her pain.

Eriol eyed her skeptically then sighed.

"Tomoyo-san, You know you shouldn't lie in front of me."

"Gomen Eriol-kun."

Eriol nodded. "Good. Wait here. I go and get a bandage."

Tomoyo watched as Eriol entered the mansion through the kitchen door.

"Eriol-sama is really caring ne Tomoyo-sama?" Tomoyo smiled at that voice.

"Hai Spinel." She felt the small cat landing on her shoulder.

It was strange. Tomoyo felt as if there was a mysterious yet strong bond between herself and Spinel which she simply couldn't explain. She felt at ease with Spinel… as if they had known each other for a long time.

The kitchen door opened and Eriol entered.

Delicately, he wrapped Tomoyo's finger making the process almost painless.

"Arigatou Eriol-kun," Tomoyo smiled at him.

Eriol smiled back. Then he was utterly surprised when he found Spinel resting upon her shoulder.

"Spinel?"

Spinel opened his sea-green eyes and stared at his master.

"Hai Eriol-sama?"

"Why… are you on Tomoyo-chan's shoulder?"

"I like Mistress Tomoyo master."

"Mistress?"

"Hai. Mistress."

Tomoyo turned towards Spinel on her shoulder with kind amethysts.

"Spinel…" Tomoyo was at a loss for words.

Eriol studied the young lady in front of him.

_Misstress__…?_

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Well, let's leave Eriol confused. He deserves it! Why did he and Kaho have to be an official CCS pairing. Why wouldn't CLAMP put ExT together? *cries*

**Fanny chan's says:**

**[REMOVED]**__

So to all my reviewers and friends, I do hope you would continue reviewing and support me. Domo arigatou gozaimasu…

~Completed on: 15th September 2002~


	3. A visit to remember

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, CLAMP does.  
  
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Fanny chan: Well… I TRIED to write more but…

Tomoyo: *sighs*

Chibi Fanny: *sighs*

Fanny chan: *sighs*

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Summary of this story: Haha… I couldn't stand not writing angst… hehe. Must be something in my blood. So here is a short-story ExT fic… *smiles* R&R please. I don't know why… *ponders* But I find angst fic more touching, more beautiful… *turns to readers and smiles* Right?

  
********************

**Crying without tears**

By Fanny chan

A visit to remember

The crystallined rain plattered softly on the windowsill of the Daidouji Mansion. A small smile graced the soft pink lips of Tomoyo Daidouji.

_I know Spinel is nice to me, yet never have I expected this. Imagine me, mistress…_ Tomoyo giggled at that thought. Then she frowned. But Eriol likes… Kaho-sensei…

A bitter pain erupted in the girl's chest, a feeling of overwheming disappointment and lonliness.

_I wonder… what if things were some how, different… what if…_

_You shouldn't think too much. "What if"s are merely fiction of your imagination. They are impossible to come true. _A cold laugh seemed to echo endlessly in Tomoyo's mind._ Impossible Tomoyo… **impossible**…_ The nagging voice mummered snidely.

Sighed audibly, Tomoyo traced the intricate patterns the rain had formed on the glass pane.

"Eriol-kun…" Tomoyo mummered slowly, as if trying to taste his name. "Sakura-chan…" a stinging liquid formed at the corner of her eyelids but she ignored them. She had almost gotten over Sakura, yet still, it hurts. She closed her eyes.

A soft tap on the window pane startled her out from wallowing deeper into self pity. A rather wet and weary object floated lightly outside, vunerable to the harsh weather condition.

_Spinel Sun?_ Tomoyo thought incredulously as she hurriedly opened the window, not caring if the cold droplets soaked her dress. Gently closing her fingers around the tiny winged figure and pulled it in, shutting the window behind her before trotting gently back into the room, shivering as she stepped on the moist carpet.

Entering the bathroom, she grabbed a nice fluffy towel and dried Spinel off, ignoring the fact that she herself was shivering and wet.

After a while of vigorous rubbing, Spinel's head popped out from under the flurry of white.

"Anou Tomoyo-sama, you are wet."

Tomoyo blinked as she finally felt the cold air seeping into her skin for the first time. Spinel lifted the towel from her shaking hands, surprising feat of strength from such a small creature, and threw it over her shoulders, giving her the conforting warmth she needed.

"Arigatou Spinel."

"Iie Tomoyo-sama. It should be me thanking you."

Tomoyo stood up, the towel still draped around her shoulder, and brought Spinel to her bed where she left him and went to change out of her drenched clothing.

A while later, she returned, wearing a sky blue nightgown.

She sat on the bed and brought Spinel to her lap.

Comfortable silent ensued between them. Finally Spinel spoke softly.

"Tomoyo-sama? I would like you to call me Suppi."

A delicate eyebrow arched in shock. "Pardon? You want _me_ to call you by your _detested_ nickname?!"

Spinel smiled, his lips twitching upwards. "I hate it when Nakuru calls me that. But I want to see how it feels like from your lips."

Tomoyo nodded uncertainly. "As you wish… suppi-chan."

Suppi beamed as her, something that seems to make him a whole new guardian. "It feels just right!"

"Really?" Tomoyo asked, a little smile playing on her own lips. Suppi nodded so solemnly that Tomoyo had a hard time biting back an overwhelming urge to laugh.

Flopping down onto her comforters, she curled up into a tiny ball, leaving Suppi to pull her duvet over her, drawing her into a deep slumber. The last thing she heard was the soft plattering of rain accompanied by the gentle rustling of ruffled fur.

*******************

As the first rays of sunlight falls onto her sleeping form, her lilac eyes blinked open, sleep gradually dwindling in those amethyst pools. Yawning, she stretched, subconsciously looking to her side. She held back a gasp as Spinel… no, Suppi-chan was curled there, lazing in the warm cloth. Then she remembered.

Stroking his azure fur, Tomoyo giggled. Then she stared at the 'Sir Sun', an imaginary companion of hers. His golden sparkling cloak was still dull in this early a morning. Another imaginary friend of hers was Lady Moon in her silvery gown. Well, actually they were the Sun and Moon but she love treating inanimated living objects as real people (_Is the sun and moon counted as living things?_ She thought silently.)…

Lost in thoughts, Tomoyo was taken aback as something snuggled into her night gown, ruffling the soft silk.

"Good morning…" the sleep-ladened voice of Spinel Sun greeted.

"Good morning to yourself Suppi. Besides that Suppi, why are you here? Were you running away from the manor?" Tomoyo enquired, mock anger in her voice.

Suppi suddenly shot up, fur rigid. "Gomen Tomoyo-san. I forgot to tell you. Eriol-sama sent me here. He asked to meet with you, to discuss something. I'm not sure what is it…" Suppi looked apologetic, a sheepish grin on his lips. _Though I have a good guess_, Spinel thought silently as an afterthought.

Tomoyo shook her head in mock annoyance. "I always admired your wonderful memory… who knew?"

Suppi huffed indignantly and settled on the bed as Tomoyo headed towards the bathroom.

In half an hour, Tomoyo waved goodbye to her mother, who had been frantically waving back, jumping up and down eagerly despite her age. Tomoyo grinned as she exited the gate and turned the corner with suppi resting on her shoulder, catching the last glimpse of her energetic mother.

They arrived at the mansion soon enough, finding Eriol pacing his garden gravely, his face grim, almost at the verge of desperation.

On seeing the duo, he immediately made his way around the carefully maintained shrubs towards them. Suppi took this as his cue to fly away.

His hand clamped tightly on Tomoyo's wrist. _He's shaking…_ Tomoyo thought in wonder as he lead her gently and patiently to his room in the mansion.

As soon as the lock clicked shut, Eriol stumbled towards his bed, flopping down wearily, face down. For a moment, there was silence. The old grandfather clock could distinctively be heard through the closed wooden doors, its tick-tocking providing a strange momentum, as if something terrible was about to happen…

A strangled sob pierced the tensed atmosphere, an emotional cry, pleading for warmth, comfort and help.

Rushing towards the bed, Tomoyo embraced Eriol, not caring if her dress was soaked with salty tears, not caring if her hair was being ruined by the distaught hug Eriol was giving her but only about the fact that her crush was brokened by someone. His heart, crushed and splintered in a dozen different ways.

And Tomoyo knew only one person who could have done this to someone so calm, so refined.

As the pitiful sobs slowly ebbed away into a drowsy sleep, Tomoyo eyes narrowed.

"Kaho Mizuki-sensei," she hissed under her breath.

_She knows…_ Eriol's partially conscious mind stated as he fell onto the soft mattress, swollen eyelids hiding the last of his tears.

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*laughs evilly* BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's that. So sorry Eriol for making you suffer… *grins* But I kinda, sorta got rid of horid Kaho Mizuki!

Eriol: *huffs angrily* Have you ever seen me cry?!

Fanny chan: Actually yes… in plentiful fics.

Eriol: *sighs* 

Tomoyo: *giggles*

Fanny chan: *eyes goes into starry mode as she stares at the kawaii couple* Aww…

Eriol and Tomoyo: *rolls eyes and smiles*

P/S: I finally found how you spells 'evilly' correctly… hahaha…

P/S: P/S: I dunno if this will turn out to be real angsty angst. Maybe it will only turn to sort of sad angst, or something like a sad fic. *shrugs*

**::Thankies::**

[REMOVED]

~Completed on: 13th October 2002~


	4. There are more important things

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, CLAMP does.  
  
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Fanny chan: Is this long? I trying to write longer chapters.

Chibi fanny: And this fic have a terrible cliffhanger.

Tomoyo: *rereads it* But the cliffhanger not so bad.

Fanny chan: *evil grins and shrugs*

********************  
  
Summary of this story: Haha… I couldn't stand not writing angst… hehe. Must be something in my blood. So here is a short-story ExT fic… *smiles* R&R please. I don't know why… *ponders* But I find angst fic more touching, more beautiful… *turns to readers and smiles* Right?

  
********************

**Crying without tears**

By Fanny chan

There are more important things

Eriol woke up in the morning in his own bed in his own room in his own mansion. He reached up to his face and found it sticky with dried tears. It was then that brief memories from the previous day came into his mind.

Tomoyo was sleeping soundly a couch situated in his room. Spinel was lying on the arm of the sofa beside her head, snoring lightly.

Eriol smiled. He must have slept the whole day. Slowly removing the warm blanket than surround him and wrapping it around Tomoyo, he made his way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Usually it was Nakuru who did it. But she had left for a visit to Hong Kong, to see Sakura.

As he heated up the oil and cracked the eggs, his mind wandered back to that horrid incident two days ago. 

**[ :****: Flashback :: ]**

He was visiting his crush, Kaho Mizuki. He had finally gathered his courage and was to confess.

Kaho opened the door and smiled that lovely smile at him. A smile which cause him to literally melt at her feet, a smile which cause him to swoon ever time he sees her.

"Eriol-kun. What a splendid surprise."

"Yes it is… Kaho-san?"

Kaho nodded slightly, acknowledging his words.

"I… I…" he wavered, feeling his confidence ebbing away slowly.

"Yes? What are you saying Eriol-kun?"

He took in a deep breath. Suddenly he saw a silver band on Kaho's wedding finger, glinting slyly at him, mocking him.

"You're engaged?"

"Oh?" Kaho lifted her hand and blushed. "Yeah. I had been dating and just last week, he proposed."

"Who is he?" Eriol asked, desperately trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. _Why didn't she tell me?_

Kaho put a finger to her lips and thought silently.

"I don't believe you met him. His name is Reisl Tesada, a really kind and sweet gentleman." Kaho gushed, sparkling eyes staring dreamily at nothingness.

Eriol took one look at her expression and his heart hardened.

How could she? How could she do this to me? Is she an idiot? How could she not notice my feelings, getting engaged just like that, so abruptly. She did not even inform me until I asked her.

Eriol glared hard at his crush and at that moment, found her particularly repulsing.

"Oh I'm _so_ glad for you. Oh and Kaho?" he mummered bitterly, but Kaho took no notice of his sacarasm in her oblivion.

"Yes?"

He then spat the next words out so forcefully, so suddenly, so emotionally that Kaho could barely recoil.

**_"I HATE YOU!"_**

He spun around and dashed back, leaving the flabbergasted and hurt Kaho Mizuki behind, secretly vowing never to return to this wretched household ever again. He had meant what he said. He had really hated her at that fateful moment.

The pain and sorrow only caught up with him once he returned to the warm haven of his home.

And he did the only thing he could- tell Tomoyo.

**[ :****: End of flashback :: ]**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tomoyo sniffed delicately as a strange burning smell invaded her sense of smell. Opening her eyes and coughing slightly, she walked out of the door, immediately tracing the origin to the kitchen.

The soft sputtering of the frying pan reached her ears as she pushed open the door. Twin black substances lay in the spluttering pan; dazed eyes stared into nothingness.

"ERIOL!" she shrieked as she turned off the gas.  Holding Eriol gently, she guided him to the kitchen table where he sagged against the chair, throughly exhausted.

Tomoyo sat down on the chair nearest to him, tilting it so it faced the dazed male.

"What's wrong?" She asked as Eriol came back to life, massaging his temples gently.

"Nothing… nothing. You should go home."

"No. I won't until I find what Mizuki-sensei did to you."

Eriol glanced at her through the corner of his eyelids. "How did you know?"

Tomoyo shrugged non-commitally. "I know because I knew."

"She's engaged," he finally muttered, his voice tight and forced. There was a strange finality in his tone, as if he had nothing to live for anymore.

Tomoyo blinked. "She's engaged? But how? When?" she trailed off as Spinel flew onto her shoulder.

"I told you master. She doesn't deserve you. Now when you are broken, you start to sink in your own pool of self-pity. Pick yourself up master. Listen and pay attention to the people around you, people more valuable then Mizuki, people more important."

Eriol remained silent, staring at his palms. She felt anger radiating from Spinel rather violently.

The next thing she knew, the full form of Spinel Sun was before her. A vast beam of light shot straight for Eriol but it was merely absorbed by his shield.

"MASTER! WAKE UP!" Spinel Sun growled as he rammed straight into Eriol, flinging both of them across the kitchen onto the wall, Eriol taking the brunt of it all.

This time, azures woke up from its glazed state and glared at Spinel. "Why did you do that?" Eriol muttered darkly, cradling his injured arm.

Spinel did not even flinch at the cold tone, his own teal orbs glaring into azures.

The tension was broken by a soft, timid voice. "Eriol-kun? Suppi-chan? Are you both okay?"

Spinel Sun changed back and flew into Tomoyo arms, arms which instinctively wrapped around the small animal.

Tomoyo walked towards the fallen Eriol who was concentrating of curing his cuts and bruises. His arm was already healed.

"Are you okay?" Tomoyo asked again as she knelt down beside him..

Eriol nodded and glanced up at Tomoyo, staring deep into bright clear amethysts. Then he realized what Spinel's words had meant. How could he have not noticed before?

There was a strange tingling feeling which spread through Tomoyo as the distance between them shortened. Both individuals' eyes slowly closed, lips slightly parted.

Tomoyo tilted her head slightly as she felt Spinel leaving her embrace.

In a few seconds, their lips were mere millimetres apart, breaths entwining with the other.

Just a little bit more…

*******************

Am I evil or what?! *grins* I will post the next chapter soon. I promise. Oh yes. After I read one particular review which said that Eriol getting hurt again, I decided to change the encounter with Kaho and Eriol a bit. So how was it? He was still hurt but he told Kaho straight in the face that he hated her. Maybe it is still not good enough but at least it was better than before where Eriol ran away without a single retort.

Anyway, Thankies for the reviews! Here we go!

**:: Thankies to everyone ::**

[REMOVED]

~Completed on: 11th November 2002~


	5. She has returned: so near yet so far

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, CLAMP does.  
  
********************

Fanny chan: okay, sorry that they didn't kissed…

chibi fanny: *evil glares* …yet.

Fanny chan: *sweatdrops*

Tomoyo: *blushes*

Fanny chan: And also for the long wait… Sorry… *downcast*

********************  
  
Summary of this story: Haha… I couldn't stand not writing angst… hehe. Must be something in my blood. So here is a short-story ExT fic… *smiles* R&R please. I don't know why… *ponders* But I find angst fic more touching, more beautiful… *turns to readers and smiles* Right?

  
********************

**Crying without tears**

By Fanny chan

She has returned: so near yet so far

A loud tinkling sound echoed through the entire manor.

Tomoyo and Eriol sprang apart, cheeks tinted with hints of pink.

In the distance, a muffled voice cried out. "ERIOL-SAMA!!! SAKURA-CHAN AND SYAORAN-KUN HAS COME TO VISIT!!!"

"Nakura…" Tomoyo heard Spinel hiss as he landed on her shoulder once again.

Coughing and standing up, Eriol held out an arm for Tomoyo. "Tomoyo-chan?"

Tomoyo had not heard him. Instead, a name echoed in her mind over and over again. And it was not Eriol's.

_Sakura… Sakura… Sakura… Sakura… is here? Now?_

Eriol stared at her, confused, his arm sliding back to his side. "Tomoyo-chan?"

Suddenly, she reached and grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling him close. "Sakura-chan? Here? Now? Wh… why?"

Eriol gently pried the fingers around his collar and eyed the distraught girl. Then it came to him. Smiling sadly, he hugged her while the insistent ringing nagged annoyingly in the background. They ignored it, Spinel smiling slightly as Tomoyo and Eriol lay in an embrace.

Finally, when the tinkling of the bell became too much, they separated.

"Don't worry, I'll be here." Eriol gave her a light peck on the cheek and gently lifted her off the chair. Slowly he led her towards the door.

"ERIOL-SAMA!!!" Nakuru shrieked again, and Spinel winced.

Eriol allowed Tomoyo to collapse on the couch as he left the living room to the narrow passage and he opened the door.

"This is a surprise," Eriol spoke, allowing his guests and Nakuru to enter. He deliberately ignored the glare Syaoran sent over as per usual.

"Sakura-san, I thought you still should be in Hong Kong." It was a statement, lightly posed as a question.

Sakura smiled at him. "Nakuru-san convinced me to come for a visit. Syaoran-kun companied me."

"Of course he should." Eriol replied instantly as dark red spots appeared on both Sakura's and Syaoran's cheeks. "He's your fiancé."

Nakuru wandered into the living room and once again, her piercing cry radiated through the mansion.

"TOMOYO-CHAN!"

Sakura's emerald eyes widened. "Tomoyo-chan is here? Oh I can't wait to see her!" With that, she dragged Syaoran towards the opening where Nakuru had previously disappeared to.

Eriol sighed, wondering how Tomoyo was fairing as he himself walked back into the living room.

***

Tomoyo was being hugged and snuggled by both Sakura and Nakuru, an indignant grin plastered on her lips.

"Ne…"  A gasp "Ne Nakuru-san, Sakura-chan, I can't breathe."

Immediately they both scrambled off.

"Ne Tomoyo-chan, what is Suppi-chan doing on your shoulder?" Nakuru asked despite the note of diaspprovement from Spinel about his name.

"None of your business." Suppi muttered as he curled into a ball.

Tomoyo smiled and turned to Syaoran.

"Syaoran-kun. Nice to meet you again."

Syaoran nodded, smiling back.

Eriol clapped his hands. "Now that everyone's introduced once again, Nakuru, why don't you show Syaoran and Sakura to the guest room. I'm sorry if it's not really made for your visit. I had no idea."

"Daijoubu Eriol-kun," Sakura smiled dismissively as she left.

The seconds ticked by, surrounded by the comfortable silence surrounding the room. Finally, a quiet question broke through it, concern evident in its tone.

"Tomoyo-chan?" Eriol inquired as he settled down beside Tomoyo.

Tomoyo sniffed and buried her head into Eriol's shirt, silent tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I missed her so much. She's here, so near…"

"… yet so far…" Eriol finished softly, stroking her hair soothingly. "Don't worry, I know…"

Neither of them noticed a tiny figure listening to the exchange, contemplating silently to itself before allowing a small smile.

_So I was right all along…_ it thought silently.

*******************

GOMEN NASAI!!! *bows* To all those who had wanted for them to kiss. *sighs* No, not yet, but at least they've become closer o^_^o

And I'm sorry if Spinel is OOC and if I made Nakuru sound like a total stuck-up or something like that… *sweatdrops* Well, I had always preferred Suppi-chan to Nakuru =^-^=

Thankies:

[REMOVED]

~Completed on: 14th November 2002~

~Amended on: 20th December 2002~


	6. Abrupt: tumbling into love’s embrace

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, CLAMP does.  
  
********************

Fanny chan: Ello' once again.

Tomoyo: Here's the next…

Chibi fanny: …and final…

Tomoyo: …installment of Crying without tears.

Fanny chan: *teary eyed* I had not anticipated this ending. Not at all. I can't believe that just this morning [on the 20th of December], I was moaning on how to end this fic.

********************  
  
Summary of this story: Haha… I couldn't stand not writing angst… hehe. Must be something in my blood. So here is a short-story ExT fic… *smiles* R&R please. I don't know why… *ponders* But I find angst fic more touching, more beautiful… *turns to readers and smiles* Right?

  
********************

**Crying without tears**

By Fanny chan

Abrupt: tumbling into love's embrace

Sonomi stroked her daughter's long velvet hair as the girl cried her hearts out. It hurts… hurts so badly. There was a sharp pain in her chest and breathing had become a difficult task.

Why did Sakura have to come back?

Sonomi glanced at her daughter as the sobbing subsided gradually before halting.

Tomoyo lifted her pale face from her mother's lap before looking up to meet her mother's eyes.

"She's back mother…" Sonomi eyes widened slightly.

Noiselessly, she spread her arms and Tomoyo clambered into her embrace. It was so warm here, like nothing could ever touch her. Her mother soothing heartbeat thumped a soft lullaby- a sweet special song which lulled her slowly into a deep, sound sleep.

**:: Dream- Tomoyo's POV ::**

I was soaring above, the breeze absolutely refreshing. The air was crystal fresh… radiating calm and gentleness, beauty and hope.

An innocent dark cloud suddenly loomed overhead. A streak of lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating it with unseen terror, closely accompanied by the deep rumble of thunder. I guess perfect things were not made to last.

I fought strongly yet helplessly against the wind and rain. My perfect world seemed to have suddenly crashed down on me, suffocating me, my small moment of tranquility- vanished. I had everything- Eriol, Suppi, my mother… then everything was abruptly torn up, like some old photograph, a faded memory.

I was harshly slammed into the damp brown earth, my clothes wet with rain and mud. I glanced up, the crystal shards stinging my eyes, blinding me temporally… then I saw her. She was the perfect angel, flawless in every aspect. In fact, she was simply too perfect.

Her cheery smile was splayed across her lips, taunting me, mocking me. Her hands were spread, beckoning. I struggled to my feet yet her angelic form merely drifted further … Oh how I wanted her… yet I cannot. She likes me… but only as a friend. She will never like me as a confidante, her soulmate… her lover…

Sakura-chan… 

**:: End of Dream- End of Tomoyo's POV ::**

Tomoyo jerked awake, her body encased in a thin layer of cold sweat. Shakily she reached over towards the picture on her bedside. It was a photograph of Eriol she had secretly taken a month ago. She studied the sweet gentle eyes as he pruned a rose bush, showering it with tender loving care.

She smiled softly as she replaced the photo to its position, her finger playing over her lips, the very lips which was almost kissed by his. That thought gave her newfound courage. Taking a deep breath, she pushed all of her anguish thoughts to the furthest corner of her mind, a place that was covered with cobwebs and dust, a location where she rarely pried. 

Humming, she carefully tucked those sad thoughts away. Instead, she brought forth a clear mind- a mind devoid of memories and thoughts. Swallowing another intake of air, she asked herself aloud.

"Do I like Sakura-chan?"

Tomoyo nodded carefully.

"Do I love Sakura-chan?"

She shook her head slightly. "No I guess not…  I love Eriol now." Tomoyo smiled. Yes, she loved Eriol now. Seeing Sakura again only provoked old feelings, but she doesn't feel them truly. She liked Sakura only as a friend- nothing more, nothing less.

With that, for the first time since seeing Sakura, Tomoyo fell into a deep slumber filled with only the pleasant of dreams.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Eriol glanced outside the window of his room, the soft glare of the morning sun barely penetrating the room.

Gently drumming his fingers on the wooden frame, he gnawed at his bottom lips agitatedly, gently peeling the thin fragments of soft skin. Does Tomoyo like him? Or does she like Sakura?

Removing his hand from the frustrated rhythm, he ghosted a finger across his lips. He was so close to claiming those luscious lips as his. He sighed and raked a hand through his hair, tangled by sleep, his other fingers clenching and unclenching by his side.

"Clow-sama?" A small voice inquired. It was neither Spinel nor Nakuru- they usually call him Eriol-sama- but if it is not them, who could it be? The answer came to him almost instantly.

The sixteen-year-old boy spunned around… and azures met gold.

"Cerberus," Eriol acknowledged, nodding towards the arm of the chair he was currently sitting on.

Kero flew awkwardly to the position indicated by his once Master. It felt so weird, strange.

Bristling as his yellow fur touched the soft material, he settled down.

"So what's the purpose of your visit, Cerberus?" Eriol asked the small fur creature and once again, Kero was struck by the uncanny resemblance of him and his former master.

"I witnessed the exchange between you and Tomoyo-chan the night before, and it struck me how intimate you and Tomoyo seemed so I generally presumed that you two are together now."

Eriol paused for a moment, deep in thought, before nodding slightly. "I guess you could say that…"

"Then if I am right, she told you of her relationship with Sakura-chan?"

Eriol regarded Kero with mild surprise before nodding again.

Kero rose onto his fours and started pacing the small space he occupied.

"I had noticed how she acted whenever around Sakura-chan… but I guess Sakura-chan couldn't make head or tail of Tomoyo-chan's behaviour… she suspected something though. After that call with Tomoyo-chan few months ago, she told me what she thought. It had been the first time she had ever behaved that seriously and of course, I was startled." Kero grinned in which Eriol returned.

"Sakura told me that she suspected Tomoyo was obsessed with her, and she was worried."

Finally, Kero's beady eyes locked with Eriol's own azures.

"So I'm glad she has finally gotten over it and…"

Eriol immediately intruded.

"No… I'm still not sure if she had fully overcomed this portion of her life. Maybe it would be good if for once in my life, I pay **HER** a visit instead of her constantly coming over."

Kero nodded before taking this as a cue for his leave.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been a week since Eriol had his meeting with Kero.

The doorbell rang.

 Sonomi rubbed her eyes sleepily as she thudded down the stairs, silently wondering who or what could possibly be ringing their doorbell at such an ungodly hour as six in the morning.

Pulling the door, she revealed her visitor which only seemed to make her day even more bizarre.

A strange young man stood there, hair as dark as midnight and eyes like sparkling jewels. She had distinctively remembering meeting this man before. But, like she was to all strangers who comes knocking on her door, she greeted him with formalities before the questions.

"Hello, may I help you?"

"Yes. I'm here to visit your daughter."

"Tomoyo? Well, she is still sleeping… may I inquire your name?" Sonomi smiled, inwardly wincing as she realized she was going a little overboard with the formalities but the sharp looking man that stood before her, unruffled and smart despite it being six in the morning made her self-conscious.

"I'm Eriol Hiragizawa. I'm sure your daughter mentioned me before Mrs Daidouji."

Sonomi gasped. So this was the young man Tomoyo been head over heels in and she could definitely see why. Why, if she were a couple of years younger, she would definitely fight for this gentleman's love as well.

Sonomi smiled and waved him in. "So _you_ are the infamous Eriol Hiragizawa. Tomoyo's had been talking about you non-stop ever since she had went over for that visit. Come in, go on up. Her room is the maroon door to the left. But I must warn you, no naughty business." Sonomi giggled like a common schoolgirl despite her age.

Eriol instantly realized he liked Tomoyo's mother. She was funny and caring. Chuckling slightly as he made his way up the stairs, he stopped in front of the door Mrs Daidouji spoke of. Knocking slightly, he nudged it and entered.

Her room was big. He had seemed to have entered something similar to that of a recreational room filled with trinkets here and there. He paused in front of a jewelry box before continuing and opening the closed door lying at the edged of this enormous space.

Slowly opening it, he stared in wonder at the beauty before him- serene and calm. Gently closing the door behind him, he pulled a chair beside the bed and sat down, silently admiring the beauty by the name of Tomoyo Daidouji.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tomoyo blinked open her tired eyes and glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It indicated six thirty.

She smiled in spite of her exhaustion, amusedly wondering why she would wake up at such an hour.

Twisting around, she found herself face to face with smiling sapphire eyes.

"Eriol?" She blinked once. "ERIOL!"

She jumped and found herself sprawled rather awkwardly on the floor.

"Good morning sleeping beauty. I had time so I came to visit. Your mother is really nice."

"Emm… thanks?" Tomoyo asked, rather uncertainly.

There was a moment of silence.

"So how have it been?" Eriol asked as casually as he could, half anticipating a weeping and emotional Tomoyo… but never in his life had he expected what was about to come- Tomoyo merely smiled.

"It's been well. Very well. Thank you." Tomoyo glanced up, looking earnestly at Eriol.

"So I guessed you have gotten over your feelings for Sakura," Eriol asked tentatively, still shocked about Tomoyo's response.

"Well you could say that."

Tomoyo could have giggled at Eriol's expression-so full of longing and seriousness but, with much difficultly, held it down.

"I love her." Tomoyo announced, watching as the hopeful expression diminished somewhat.

"As a friend. My, are you a silly one," Tomoyo soothed Eriol's hair down, smiling.

Eriol could not help the radiant grin from spreading over his face.

"So who do you like then?"

"You." Came Tomoyo's rather simple but still affectionate reply.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After Eriol had gone home for the day, Tomoyo changed and went out into the garden, crossing it with expertise and ease, as if she knew every single yard at her fingertips, which perhaps she did.

She reached a particular spot, that fated spot. The grass had long grew over the jutting mound. Kneeling on the dry mud, she slowly dug, a strange sense of déjà vu once again feeling her system. It had seemed like years which, in reality, had only been months since her breakdown over Sakura.

Her fingertips touched soft velvet material and she yanked it up. In her palm lay the first gift Sakura had given her, the one she had desperately tried to bury along with her feelings. Turning it around in her palm, she finally pulled out the soft eraser, shaped like a bunny. Then, she grinned and slipped it back into the mud-encased pouch and stood, carefully returning the soil to its original place.

As she returned to her room, absent-mindedly brushing the dry mud from the cloth, she reminisced the days with Sakura but this time, there was a simple, single difference from her previous reminisces. This time, she felt no longing, no pain, only warm comforting friendship.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day, Sakura and Syaoran had to leave once again for Hong Kong.

"Onni-chan and Yukito-san will be waiting for us at the airport." Sakura waved to her friends, her eyes overwhelming with tears.

Tomoyo nodded and walked forward to embrace her friend. After she had recoiled, something landed discreetly on her back.

"Have you figured out your feelings?" Immediately, she recognized the soft Osaka accent. She gave him a small, secretive nod.

"Sakura's a friend now," she whispered, smiling. 

"Good…"

The sensation vanished, indicating Kero had taken off but it was soon replaced by another similar feeling.

"What was Cerberus doing on your shoulder?" Tomoyo giggled and could not help but teased her furry black friend.

"Aww Suppi… are you jealous?" Suppi gave a soft indignant huff and muttered that he "Certainly was."

Then she turned to Syaoran and gave him a similar hug as she gave Sakura. "Promise you would take care of Sakura-chan." She added, the teasing note in her voice still evident.

Syaoran studied her for a moment before relaxing into a smile.

He gave his best friend a soft quick peck on the cheek before turning to grasp Sakura hand in his own.

"Only if you do the same with Hiragizawa," Tomoyo smiled and nodded, once again reminded of Syaoran's unusual sense of perceptiveness.

"See you soon." He gave them a farewell before they picked their bags and headed towards the entrance.

Tomoyo felt Eriol's arms encircle her waist and she glanced up and for the first time in her life, she felt soft lips cover her own. She barely heard Nakuru's "aww…" Nor did she see Spinel's approving smile.

Parting to catch their breath, Tomoyo muttered her deepest, truest emotion.

"I love you Eriol…"

"And I, you Tomoyo…"

And once again, the gap between them vanished.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There are many ways to cry. Mostly people do it with tears. But why don't we try something different? Something so much deeper than simply blinking your eyes and allowing moisture to leak? Why don't you try it? Cry with something deeper. Weep with emotions, feelings.

Why don't you weep with love instead?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*~*~OWARI~*~*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N on 29th November 2002:

Hehe… sorry… Let's just take the gang to be 19 okay? Ignore the fact that in Tomoyo's flashback in chapter 1, I used the name Terada-sensei. Just take him to be another person instead of the Terada-sensei who teaches in Tomoeda elementary. *sweatdrops* Do I make any sense? 

A/N on 20th December 2002:

*startled* It had not been my intention to complete this story today. I was just thinking about one review where it pointed out my story was too short so I tried to extend it NOT complete it… *weeps*

I'm so sorry if I disappointed anyone with the ending. I really truly hope not. Please tell me if the ending is good or bad. IF the bad overwrites the good, I'll change the ending completely… but then again, maybe I'll just add a sequel. I had enough for one day. To think I had just completed a fic which happened to have the most reviews for the least chapters… *eyes tears up* THANKS YOU GUYS… thank you so so much… *sniff* I will definitely do a sequel dedicated to each and everyone of you. Wait for it and for the meantime, R&R!!!

*cross fingers and hopes no one is upset about the ending*

24th December 2002:

*excited* Now I have gotten away with my blues about completing this fic so abruptly, I am overjoyed on posting the chapter on Christmas eve! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR =^_^=… I better start on my new year's revolution =^-^=

Thankies:

[REMOVED]

~Completed by: 29th November 2002~


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